Random Awesomeness
by tiffaninichole
Summary: Because every collection of drabbles needs a catchy name...
1. Alice Sees

**A/N:**

**This will be a bunch of rambles, drabbles, stories that I started and don't plan on finishing, etc. There will be slash, femmeslash, canon and non-canon couples. At the beginning of each chapter, I'll post the pairing so you'll know what you're getting yourself into ;-)**

**None of these will be beta'd unless coachlady1 feels like it.**

**This was a story I planned on writing but am too lazy/busy/brain blocked to finish. This was supposed to be the first chapter, but alas, it's now the **_**only**_** chapter. Enjoy!**

**Pairing: Jasper & Alice... kind of Bella...**

Jasper lay in bed with his wife, his mate, his beloved Alice. For some reason unknown to him, Alice had been acting strange, distant even, for the past few weeks. He felt helpless in his quest to help her, for she refused any emotional stability he could offer. She kept up the ruse of being a happy couple in front of the rest of the family. Jasper relished those times, when he was free to touch, caress... _hold _his wife. But when they were alone, Jasper truly felt... alone.

Alice briskly dismissed him when asked about the conflicting feelings she projected and spurned any act of intimacy that Jasper initiated. They hadn't even so much as kissed for seven weeks. Jasper tried anything he could think of to make Alice happy, anything to bring a smile to his love's face. Alice hadn't truly smiled for some time now. Sure, she'd smile when around others, but it never reached her eyes. Her eyes, once alluring and full of life, were now void and desolate. It broke Jasper's frozen heart to see her so full of sorrow.

Jasper glanced at the bedside clock and noted the time: 3:56 a.m. The others would be returning from their hunt soon. All the Cullens were ordered to sate their thirst for Bella's upcoming birthday party. Jasper truly had no interest in attending. Not when Alice was so despondent. But she'd practically begged him to go, so he acquiesced.

Anything to make her happy.

Jasper took in an unnecessary lungful of air and sighed. He was frustrated and unsure of how to handle his own wife. They had been inseparable for the better half of a century, and Jasper now had no clue how to make his mate smile, how to make her glow with happiness. He realized that after over sixty years together, he was back at square one.

Alice's body stiffened next to him and Jasper instantly knew that his wife was having a vision of the future. He kept his body perfectly still, which wasn't hard to do, and waited, for he had no desire to disrupt or snap Alice out of whatever she was seeing.

Suddenly, his body was wracked with overbearing loneliness, despair, animosity, anguish. Desolation. Deep, wretched dejection.

Jasper gasped in shock, trying to grab hold of the overwhelming, chaotic emotions floating around him. He'd never felt such powerful hopelessness. He again gasped for air.

"Alice," he pleaded as his body trembled with despair. So much pain. He felt himself falling deeper and deeper, unable lift himself out of the emotional black hole.

Only a few seconds had passed since the emotions hit, but to Jasper, it felt much longer. _Infinitely_ longer. After concentrating and centering himself, he was finally able to gain a small amount of control. The agony was much more powerful than he anticipated, but after what felt like a lifetime, Jasper finally had it under his grasp.

He immediately wrapped Alice in his arms, the couple shaking with tearless sobs, both for entirely different reasons. Alice cried for herself, for the immense pain she had, and would continue to, endure. She cried for feeling so selfish, for trying to hold on to something that was never hers to begin with. Jasper cried for his wife, powerless to do anything to combat the dark, murky depths her mind constantly battled to rise against. He would give anything to help her, to absolve her of this acute, penetrating pain.

After an indefinite amount of time, Alice's grip on her husband slightly loosened and she took a deep, shaky breath. Jasper decided to break the silence. He couldn't go another minute like this.

"Alice, please talk to me. You _have_ to talk to me. What was that? What did you see?"

"I... I was hoping it would change. That I could change it. I... can't. Nothing changes... I—Jasper, I don't know what to do!"

A heart-wrenching wail erupted out of Alice's mouth and she began to weep piercingly into his chest. Jasper held her, whispering words of love and adoration into her ear while rubbing soothing circles into her smooth skin.

"Let me help you, Alice. Please tell me what you saw."

Jasper now had to constantly fight to keep everything under control. The feelings his mate was emitting, conjugated with his own intense emotions was almost too much for him to bear.

"Why are you feeling this way? What's happened? Talk to me." Desperation laced Jasper's words and Alice felt horrible for what she was subjecting her husband to. She took a deep breath, preparing to tell him everything. Alice looked in her husband's eyes, so full of love and concern. How she wished things were different.

"Two months ago," she began, "I started having these little, inconsequential visions. They were weird, scattered. They made no sense, really. But I felt incredibly confused and sad after they passed and I had no clue why. As time went on, these particular visions became longer, clearer. I tried so many things to divert the path we were all on. For my own selfish reasons, of course."

She took a deep breath, bracing herself against the pain that the next words to leave her mouth would surely bring. For weeks, Alice dared not ever utter the words aloud terrified that verbalizing them would cement the inevitable. She knew it was asinine. Ridiculous, really. Nonetheless, she couldn't give up hope. But tonight... tonight, that hope had been violently shattered, decimated, annihilated. She couldn't help but remember the famous quote: _Resistance is futile. _Never had any sequence of words rung more true.

Jasper felt his wife's conflicting emotions and sent powerful doses of love and comfort to her, rubbing her back delicately with his fingertips as if she would break under a firmer touch. As the silence warred on, he became more anxious and edgy. Somehow Jasper knew that the next words to come out of his mate's mouth would eternally change their lives. He hoped like mad that they would be able get through this obstacle and emerge stronger than before.

"Jasper... you and Bella... you're mates. You were meant to be together."

Although Jasper's hearing had been above and beyond impeccable for over a century, he was sure he had misheard his wife. There was no way Alice had just told him what he thought he heard. He inwardly scoffed at the absurdity of it all. In love with Edward's mate? A _human_?

"Alice, please don't take this the wrong way, but that's ludicrous_._ Just downright... _preposterous! _Obviously, you're misinterpreting what you're seeing. There has to be some logical explanation. _You_ are my mate. _You_ are the one I love."

He tenderly grabbed Alice's hand and leisurely, repeatedly, kissed her ring finger, looking desperately into her eyes, willing her to see that what they had was stronger than some wacky vision. Jasper never had any doubts about what his wife saw, in all of their decades together, she'd never been wrong. Clearly, there was a first time for everything.

"I know you love me, Jasper, but you're not _in_ love with me. You've been so blind to it all, afraid to acknowledge what's right in front of you. As much as it rips me apart to say this... you're in love with Bella. You two _will_ be together. I haven't seen _how_ it will happen. I just know it's soon. Very soon."

Jasper was having difficulty digesting what his ma—Alice, was saying. Of _course_ he was in love with her. He'd been in love with her since the day they met... hadn't he?

"I know it's hard to hear right now, but the love you feel for me will not even come close to the amorous, all-consuming love you'll feel for her. I've seen you together, Jasper, and it's quite a sight to see. You two belong together. The bond you feel, it's unmistakable. Our meeting and finding the Cullen's, it was Destiny leading you to her, waiting for the right moment. That moment is coming, Jasper. Soon. I think it happens before the party."

"But... what about Edward? What about _you_, Alice? I can't let you go. You're my _everything_. What will I do without you?"

Alice swallowed back the grief that threatened to overtake her. If it were at all possible, she would have fallen victim to, and died of a broken heart.

"I don't know what will become of Edward. I haven't seen him in any of these visions. My guess is that he takes off after finding out. As far as myself, you must understand that I can't stick around much longer. It will ruin me to see you with her. She's my best friend... I just can't do it."

Alice's body once again shook with fruitless sobs as her husband shushed and consoled her. While comforting Alice, Jasper's mind was silently working a mile a minute, trying to make sense of everything. How could he ever be happy, knowing that his being with Bella would inevitably tear the family apart? Carlisle, of course, would try his damnedest to be supportive and understanding. But what about the others? Esme would be devastated, Rosalie would be infuriated, Emmett would be torn, Edward would be heartbroken and Alice, his poor, gentle, sweet, kind Alice. He couldn't bear the thought of causing her such misery.

And what did Alice mean he was already in love with Bella? That couldn't be right. How could he be in love with her and not know it? _Sure_, she was beautiful and intelligent and so many other things. But _in love_? Thinking back, Jasper _had_ found it strangely odd that he never had a strong urge to drain her. He figured his lack of bloodlust for Bella was easily explained away by the fact that she was Edward's mate and would soon become a Cullen. _Was_ he in love with Bella? Could his soul have known all along what his mind refused to accept?

Jasper didn't have long to ponder that thought, because he heard the others approaching the house. Alice quickly shot up with wild eyes and quietly whispered,

"Hide your thoughts from Edward. He can't know about this until I figure everything out."

Jasper nodded his head slowly in understanding and sadly looked at the woman who had been by his side through so many hardships. He couldn't believe he wouldn't be spending the rest of forever with her as he previously assumed he would. He grabbed her tightly and kissed her passionately. A kiss goodbye, they both knew.

Alice wrapped her arms around her love for the last time, memorizing everything she could about him—his shaggy hair, his soulful eyes, his tough and resilient nature. Every single scar had made him into the man she loved and cherished for so long. But he wasn't hers anymore. He would never be hers again. Truthfully, he was never hers to begin with. Coming to that realization was what broke her heart the most.

Alice knew Edward was close enough to now hear her thoughts, so she began mentally singing Lady Gaga songs to keep him out of her head. She knew he would eventually grow suspicious, but she would deal with his leeriness some other time. Tonight was her last night with her one, true love. She would not waste it worrying about Edward. She wanted to be selfish, just for tonight...

**A/N:**

**Sooooooo... Whaddya think?**

**Until next time! Smooches! ^_^**


	2. My Friend's Daughter

**A/N:**

**This was an idea that just popped into my head...**

**Pairing: Carlisle/Bella**

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Looking at little Bella Swan, I realize that she's not-so-little anymore. I try not to notice her long, smooth legs and the way they look in that skirt. Or the full breasts that are straining against the fabric of her cotton t-shirt. And I definitely, _definitely_ try not to notice how she wets her pink lips with the tip of her tongue before she speaks.

No. I don't notice anything of the sort. Not with Charlie Swan's daughter.

"So, Carlisle, how long are you in town?"

I wasn't expecting to be alone with her. I thought Charlie would be here. And I really wasn't expecting for little Bella to look so... well, _not__-__so__-__little._

"Um." I clear my throat. "About a week. Maybe—I'm guessing. Maybe longer."

Longer may be a bad idea.

She lifts a glass of soda to her mouth and softly hums her approval as the straw settles between her plump lips. And I watch in fascination as she closes her eyes, appreciating the flavor. As her delicate throat constricts with each swallow. As her lips drag pull after pull of the sugary drink into her mouth...

The cup is now back on the table and I am thoroughly embarrassed. I hope she didn't notice my staring.

She nods her head and bites her bottom lip. "A week is good."

No, it's not. "Yes."

I really should be going.

"Seven days is enough time to catch up, don't you think?"

"Um. Yes. Sure."

She once again licks her lips and I avert my gaze, willing my brain to think of anything but my friend's daughter's tongue as I grow hard in my pants.

"Would you like to catch up, Carlisle? I'm eighteen now, so I think we have a bit of catching up to do."

She rises from the sofa and saunters to the staircase before turning back to me, slowly licking her lips.

"Would you like to catch up in my room, Carlisle? I think it's a good place to catch up, don't you?"

"Yes."

I am _so _screwed.


	3. Dirty Talk

**A/N:**

**This was a writing exercise for Project Team Beta's Smut University. A short, impromptu piece that I thought I'd share here. The lesson was "Dirty Talk," but there isn't very much dirty talk here. My brain was fried that day :-/**

**Pairing: I pictured Bella & Jasper while writing, but you can imagine whoever you want ;-)**

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She was so angry, so fucking insanely pissed that she was seriously considering murder. She wanted to kill him then revive his stupid ass, just so she could him kill him dead again. And she'd do it all with a creepy clown smile on her face.

But alas, she didn't feel like going to jail tonight. And maybe he was a _little _right.

Instead of committing a bloody crime, she took a steadying breath, flipped the bastard off and dramatically turned on her heel, flipping her curtain of fruity-smelling hair on the way.

"Where the hell are you going?" His tone was biting and full of arrogance. _Asshole_.

She ignored his question and continued walking while imagining throwing various hard objects at his head.

"Why are you running? Can't take the truth?"

If she could have shot magma out of her eyes, she would have. Instead, she settled on the next best thing as she turned to face him.

She gave him the most evil, dastardly, malicious stink-eye in the extensive history of stink-eyes.

"Fuck. _You_."

She was so sick of this game and this entire arrangement. She hated that he had so much control over her. They despised each other, but couldn't live without each other.

"So, I'll take your avoidance of answering my question as a 'yes,' then." A cocky smirk smeared across his face. "You couldn't stop, even if you wanted to. You _need _me."

She hated that stupid smirk on his face. She hated that he was right. She needed to strike hard, make him hurt as much as he had wounded her.

"I'm moving on, I don't need this—_you_—anymore. I have a date."

The smirk that was almost a constant on his face quickly melted away and she felt victorious.

"Date?"

"Yes, a date. With a good man who will treat me right."

If she were honest, she would admit to him that her date wasn't half the man that he was. Her date would never make her heart stutter like he did and would never come close to pleasing her the way he did.

But she kept her mouth shut because he could never know how much he affected her, how much she lived for him.

But he'd made it painfully clear that she was nothing more than a fuck. And she would never admit that that fact left her chest heavy and shallow.

She had nothing left to say, so she turned away from him—from _this_—to leave. As her hand reached for the doorknob, she refused to cry. He couldn't know how much this killed her.

"Wait... _don't_."

His voice was pleading which surprised her. She stopped but didn't turn around while trying to stay calm and hide the fact that her heart was beating wildly in her chest.

He was now behind her. She felt the heat of his body pressing against her from behind as his nose skimmed the length of her neck.

He brought his lips to her ear, his warm, minty breath causing her to shiver. "Can your date do that? Make your body shake before he's even touched you?"

No.

His mouth was now at the juncture between her neck and shoulders, leaving wet kisses across the expanse of skin.

"Does your date know that if he kisses you right here, like this, your breath will stutter?"

No.

"Look at me."

_No_.

She stayed facing the door.

He gripped her shoulders and roughly turned her body around to face him.

"Does he know..." he slowly lifted the hem of her shirt and slid his hands up her torso to her breasts, working the now hardened peaks between his fingers. Her body was always so responsive to him. "That if he pinches your nipples like this, your pussy will glisten for him?"

_Oh, God, no_.

He roughly pulled her shorts down and his eyes hooded when he saw that she wasn't wearing underwear. He growled as he softly pushed her back into the door and lowered his face to her arousal.

Gripping her hips to hold her still, he dragged the tip of his tongue up the length of her slit, tightening his grip when her knees wobbled.

"Does he know that your legs almost give out when you're licked right here? How fucking good you taste when you come?"

He continued tasting her while she buried her hands in his thick hair. His mouth was relentless, kissing and licking and sucking at all the right moments, in all the right places until she came hard, calling his name in luscious ecstasy.

He was on her before she could recover, lifting her legs and wrapping them around his now naked hips. He pushed into her, hard and deep, and she gasped as he entered, filled, completed her.

After sliding almost completely out, he thrust into her again and again and all of the breath left her when she came around him, gripping him tightly as her nails dug into his back.

"Can he do this? Huh? Can he _fuck _you like this?"

Instead of answering, she pulled his body closer, needing to feel more of him as her panting became louder.

"God, you're so fucking wet. Always so wet for me. You're mine. Fucking _mine_."

His pace became harder, faster, _desperate_. He gave her everything he had—and she greedily took it all as her back noisily banged against the door behind her.

"I want you to come again. I want to feel you grip my dick, I wanna hear you scream my _fucking _name so everyone will know whose pussy this is."

His grip on her hips tightened as he leaned forward and licked her stiff nipples through her thin shirt. She arched her back, giving him more, anything he wanted.

She was a quivering mess, quaking with want and need as the symphony of their sounds filled the room.

"Come for me. Show me what I fucking do to you."

"_Oh, God_."

He always knew what to say, how to say it. What to do, how to do it. No one else could make her feel this way.

When he gently bit down on her peak, she saw stars behind her eyes and screamed into his shoulder while her orgasm exploded through her body, her hips bucking wildly against him.

"Yes. This. Is. _Mine_."

Each word was punctuated with a savage lunge of his hips.

He lifted one of his hands to her chin, forcing her to look at him, never slowing his stride. His eyes were frantic, full of anguish.

"I need you. I fucking _need_you."

She was at a loss for words as she stared at his beautiful face, knowing that what he spoke was the absolute truth.

She gripped his damp hair and pulled his face to hers, moaning as their tongues glided sensuously together, reveling in the feel of his lips against hers. She began rocking her hips faster as she promised herself that she would never allow herself to hurt him again. She would give him what he deserved. Honesty. Bringing her swollen lips to his ear, she whispered "I need you, too."


	4. Bella the Sub: Part 1

**A/N:**

**I got an idea for this one the other day. It will be a little miniseries of naughtiness :-D**

**Pairing: Bella & Jasper**

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Bella looked at the alphabetized checklist with uncertainty, not sure if she truly wanted to go through with this. There was just so much paperwork. Contracts, checklists... she _hated _paperwork.

"Um," she squeaked, "what does 'abrasion' mean?"

He grinned from his seat as if pleased by her question. "Abrasion is stimulating a part of the body with friction by using abrasive objects such as sandpaper, steel wool—"

"Steel wool?"

His brow rose at the interruption—he wasn't too happy about being cut off mid-sentence. Bella lowered her gaze and her voice, internally chastising herself for messing up already.

"I'm sorry. You just caught me off guard..."

"Isabella, you're free to talk to me and ask questions. Just don't talk above me again or there will be consequences."

She looked up at him from beneath her lashes and smirked. "Yes, Master."

He laughed and Bella noticed that his eyes crinkled in the most beautiful of ways when he was happy. She wanted to make him happy more often. "I'm not your Master... _yet._"

She bit her lip and blushed, going back to the list. "Just for the record, I definitely _don't _want to do that."

As she progressed farther down the list, she began to doubt that she was making the right choice as she repeatedly checked "Hard Limit" for almost every option. Asphyxiation, beastiality, catheterization, dilation, electricity, forced urination, gun play, harem...

_Harem?_

"Uh, you won't have a harem, will you?"

"No. Only you, Isabella."

She visibly relaxed and continued down the list.

Injections, knife play... pony play? She wasn't even going to ask. Her eyes stopped at "Pussy Worship," and she squirmed slightly in her seat as she checked it off as a definite "want to try," while trying to imagine the ways her Master would worship her _own _pussy.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all...


	5. My Best Friend

**A/N:**

**Bella the Sub will be continued, I've just been really busy, no time to write, so I'll post this in the meantime. It was a Smut University exercise. Hope you like it! :-)**

**Pairing: Bella & Alice**

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I've waited so long for this. Two years of watching her get her heart broken time and time again, too afraid to do anything other than let her cry on my shoulder. Two years of imagining what it would feel like to kiss my best friend, to taste the skin of her hardened nipples.

Now the time has come. After spending a majority of our night on my living room couch complaining about the inadequacies of men, I'd finally decided to take the leap and kiss her. Her mouth was everything I'd imagined it would be—sweet, soft, warm.

But now that it's over and she's looking at me with wide eyes, mouth agape, I'm starting to think that I screwed up. Bad.

"Wow..."

She looks dazed as her delicate fingers slowly trail across her pouty lips. God, I want to kiss her again.

My palms are pathetically damp and my heart is fluttering like hummingbird wings as silence balloons in the room.

I'm looking at her, imploring her to say something, anything.

"I think." My nerves spike through the roof when she finally speaks. "I mean—can we... do that again?"

Oh, God, yes! It takes all my might to keep from crying with glee and pouncing on her as soon as the words leave that beautiful mouth.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

I slowly inch toward her, watching as her eyebrows lift minutely, as her breathing becomes shallow.

And I'm here. Right next to her on the couch, our thighs touching, looking into each other's eyes.

I lift my hand to her face, gently rubbing the apple of her rosy cheek with my thumb. So soft.

Her eyes close and a soft sigh floats through her lips as I move closer. My heart is beating wildly as our lips connect for the second time and I'm breathless as our lips sensuously glide together. I slide my tongue forward and flick it over her lip while moving a hand to her silken strands, tangling them between my fingers as she opens her mouth to me.

Her taste is amazing; the feel of her tongue fluidly moving with mine is indescribable and I can't stop the moan that escapes my throat.

Finally.

Our mouths are no longer grazing with timidity, we are now trying to devour each other as hands roam and squeeze and grope with fervent intensity.

Her lips are now pressing against my throat and she's whispering unintelligible words into my skin and I can't believe this is happening.

My body erupts into goose bumps as her mouth travels up to my ear, her wet tongue sliding across the shell.

"Bella," her voice is so soft as her hot breath travels across the nape of my neck, making me shiver, making moisture gather between my legs. "I've wanted you for so long. I was so afraid to say anything..."

She... wants me? Could I have heard that right? My breath quickens at the realization. I'm stunned.

She takes advantage of my silence, of my stillness, and my mind goes blank as she lifts my tank top over my head. She takes a moment to gaze at my newly exposed skin, enticingly licking her lips as she lowers her face to my bare chest. I gasp loudly when I feel her tongue wrap around my pebbled nipple, sending shockwaves through my body.

"Alice... yes." My voice is hoarse, filled with lust and want as she circles her tongue around my sensitive skin, heat blooming from my core.

How can this be happening? How can the tables have turned like this?

"Can... can I try something?"

I nod my head and she softly pushes me back against the couch. As she moves her head toward my belly button, slowly lowering my shorts and leaving a trail of hot kisses down my stomach, I decide that I don't care. It doesn't matter.

Nothing matters but her and me and the sob that escapes me as her tongue slowly slides across my slit.


	6. Bella the Sub: Part 2

**Another installment of Bella the Sub ^_^ Oh, and since I'm a wimp, there won't be all kinds of pain and torture or anything of the sort to Bella's womanly bits.**

**Pairing: Jasper & Bella**

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The room was silent, save for Bella's heavy breathing as her master circled her bare form in the dark room.

"You are free to answer me, Pet. Will you accept my gift?"

She sat silently, contemplating whether she could push herself to such an extreme limit. Although she had listed this act as "willing to try," Bella had certainly never expected it to come into play.

She had been loyal, faithful and unwaveringly dedicated to her master in the four months since her collaring ceremony. Growing and experiencing new things with him was something that she craved. She wanted nothing but to please him, which was why she would agree. _Anything to please him_.

Keeping her head down and eyes lowered, she slowly bent her body forward and placed her lips to the tip of her master's boot.

"Yes, Master."

He took a deep, shaky breath and placed a large hand against her cheek. "How you please your master, Pet."

Bella beamed, keeping her smile internal as she basked in the proud glow of making Master happy.

His feet retreated, but she dared not look up. Bella knew where he was going and she did her best to hide her nerves as she heard the playroom door creak open.

"Rise, Pet."

Bella stood, keeping her eyes lowered, hands clasped behind her back.

"Do you approve of my gift? You may look."

Her eyes lifted, her heart rate speeding as she took in the curvaceous body of her gift. Blond waves hanging loosely down a sunkissed back, perfectly sculpted brows peeking through from below the blood-red blindfold, full lips parted in anticipation, ample chest heaving with each breath.

Bella nervously brought her bottom lip between her teeth, deeply appreciative that her master would allow her first time to be with someone so beautiful. "I approve, Master."

Master grinned at Bella as he stroked the gift's blond hair. "Are you ready to please my pet, Plaything?"

Her gift's pink lips curved into a smile before she corrected herself and wiped the emotion from her face.

"Yes, Sir. I'm ready."

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**The act Bella is referring to in this chapter is forced homosexuality.**


	7. The UPS Guy

**A/N:**

**This is another Smut University lesson. Slash. Oh yeah! For those of you uncomfortable with buttsecks, you can breathe easy because none is here. But there,**_**might **_**be some jacking off and blowjobs. Just sayin'.**

**Pairing: Jasper & Edward**

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A Halloween costume, a shakeweight and a U-Dub sweatshirt.

Three packages are out for delivery. And since I stalk the UPS website with a vengeance, I know exactly where each one is.

I'm going to be forced into debt soon. All because of him. My UPS delivery guy. He probably thinks I'm a goddamn shopaholic due to his daily deliveries to my place.

But I just… _need _to see him. So I go online and order a bunch of shit that I'll probably never use. As a result of my infatuation with my UPS guy, all of my Christmas shopping is done and everyone has a few birthday presents lying around here. Hell, I'm pretty sure I have a few baby shower gifts somewhere, too. Maybe some Bar Mitzvah shit as well. Who the hell knows?

Since I got a better job offer and am relocating, these three packages will be the last delivered to this house. Today is the day. I need to make a move.

He'll be here in five minutes. He's always like clockwork.

I run to the bathroom to brush my teeth for the second time and rub more deodorant under my arms. The hair is no use, so I just leave it.

Aaand, there he is. I've picked up super hearing since he walked into my life wearing that ugly-ass brown uniform seven months ago. I can now hear a UPS truck from a mile away.

He's outside.

I jog to my front door and am right there just as he knocks, but I don't wanna seem desperate or something, so I silently run to the hallway so I'll sound like I'm busy doing... _something_.

"Hold on! Coming!"

I walk casually to the door, take a deep breath to steel myself, and open the door.

And all of the air whooshes out of me.

He's smiling. At me. All toothy and dimples and sexy stubble.

And I can see the crisp muscle shirt peeking through from under his uniform.

Fuuuck.

"Hey there, Ed."

He's always so bright. He's also the only person on the planet who I allow to call me Ed. He can call me anything he wants.

"Hi, Jasper. Got something for me today?"

I could slap myself for asking such a dumbass question. Of _course_ he has something for me or he wouldn't _be _here.

He politely ignores my stupidity and smiles wider. "Yep. Got three parcels for ya."

He picks up three small boxes from the ground next to his feet and hands them to me. Our fingers touch for a fraction of a second and it's not enough.

"All set."

"Okay. Yeah. This is everything."

"Alright, well, I guess I'll see ya tomorrow, Edward."

He salutes me like a Marine or something and turns around.

He's leaving. Fuck!

"Um," I start. He turns back to me, eyebrows raised in a silent question. "I'm not—I'm moving."

"Moving? When?"

I shift uncomfortably for a few seconds under his gaze, feeling guilty for not telling him sooner. He seems kind of... _hurt_?

"Ah, in a few days, I guess. Er, these are the last things I ordered."

"Oh." Jasper shuffles his feet and takes off his brown hat, ruffling his hair before putting the hat back on. "Well, I guess... I guess I'll see you around then."

He walks back to the truck and I can't fucking let him go. Not now. Not ever. Fuck. _Think of something!_ Now!

"I'm going to Mardi Gras!" He looks at me like I'm batshit crazy but I continue. "The one in Australia."

If he's straight, he'll have no idea what the hell I'm talking about. If he's gay...

"You are?"

_Oh, fuck. Oh, my holy fuck and angels and cherub babies! He knows what it is! Oh, fuck!_

He walks toward me again, all smiles and dimples, just how I like him. "The Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras? I've always wanted to go..."

I think I want to cry ridiculously happy tears right now.

"You have?"

"Yeah."

We're on the same page, speaking the same language. He knows what I'm trying to tell him and I know what he's trying to tell me.

"I know you can only stay a minute, but, uh, you wanna come in? I have lemonade."

Aw, hell. Could I sound any fruitier? Lemonade? I could have offered beer or even fucking water, but lemonade?

He looks around nervously. "Sure, just for a minute."

We're inside and his hat is off and he's drinking my lemonade. His lips are on my cup, Adam's apple bobbing with each gulp and _fuck_ he's sexy. I'll never wash that cup again.

The drink is gone; he's now eating the ice. That distinct crunch has never sounded sexier.

I need to take charge, stop being such a puss. This is my last chance.

"So, can I give you my new number?"

He stops chewing for a second and smirks, nodding his head. "I'll give you mine, too."

Is that... do I hear a choir singing "hallelujah"?

I run to grab a pen and paper and bring them back out to the living room. Most of my furniture is gone, so we have to settle on the wall as a smooth writing surface. I press my little scrap of paper against the wall and begin writing my number.

I stop when I feel his fingers run up my arm.

"Edward?"

He's so close. Right behind me.

"Yeah?"

His lips are trailing kisses down my neck, my shoulder. I turn around and we're close, so close. My dick is pressed against his hip and he reaches between our bodies to grab it.

_Oh ,fuck._

We're kissing, his lips needily colliding with mine as we grope and grab and tug. Tongues gliding and probing as clothes are discarded and the world is forgotten.

He's on his knees and, oh, fuck, he's on his knees in front of me. Everything switches to slow motion as he looks up at me and grabs my cock in his rough palms.

His scent is surrounding me, cologne and sweat and mint and my breath quickens as his smooth tongue slides down my length. I watch fascinated as my dick disappears into his mouth. Oh, holy fuck. He's taking all of me. _All of me. _

My hands move to his hair, gripping and pulling and feeling the soft, wiry curls as I surge my hips forward, urging, _begging_ him to take more.

His head is bobbing and my hips are thrusting and we're moaning and his cock is out, thick and long and being jerked wildly by his hand.

I lick my lips and taste him, taste the lemonade that was in his mouth as I watch him swallow my cock repeatedly. And I'm close. Moaning louder, breathing ragged, hips moving faster, hands gripping tighter. He comes, his loud groans and cries muffled by my dick in his mouth, long streams shooting onto my floor and he keeps going, he doesn't stop. And I'm done for. I come. I come so fucking hard and he takes it all and I'm screaming his name and he sucks harder and swallows all of me as my knees start to give out.

He stands and is kissing me again and I'm gripping the collar of his uniform. I don't want him to go. He can't go. Not yet.

His lips are on my ear and he's out of breath. He's panting. His breath smells like my lemonade. "I gotta go, Edward."

I just nod my head. I can't think of anything to say.

He slides a little piece of paper into my palm and I close it into a fist. I'll never lose it. "Call me."

I nod again and he's gone.

I plop down on my couch, feeling sorry for myself and look at what he gave me. His number. A short note beneath the digits.

_We'll be in the same area code. Looks like we'll be closer than we thought. Call me. Jas._

I close my eyes and smile. I like closer.


	8. Earthquake

**This was my contribution to the TwiFans for Haiti Compilation a while back. This was the second thing I ever wrote so be prepared for craptasticness. I just read over it for the first time since I wrote it and good gawd, I'm embarrassed. I had to change a few things because it was just... bad. IDK how coachlady1 put up with my crappiness :-)**

**Penname: tiffaninichole**

**Rating: M**

**Pairing: Bella & Edward**

**Title: Earthquake**

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BPOV

I can't stop thinking of him. His beautiful green eyes, his unruly bronze hair, that little sliver of stomach that peeks out of his shirt when he lifts his arms. His smile. Oh, his smile could persuade me do things I never thought I'd do... but he doesn't even know I exist. Neighbors in the same complex for three years and he never spoke to me. Sure, he'd smile politely like you'd do with any stranger. But he never _really _paid attention and saw me. But I can't say I blame him. I _am _rather plain. Brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin. Not exotic and model-esque like the types of girls I'm sure he goes for.

Every day, I look forward to the time of day when we're both leaving our apartments at the same time. He'd smile that crooked smile and I'd smile back. We'd both walk toward the exit of the building and go our separate ways. Sometimes, I walked behind him to catch a wondrous gaze at his butt. Oh, it is a sight to behold that butt of his, tight and muscular, flexing with every fluid step he took.

No one knew about my fascination with my neighbor. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone I was in love with a man I've never spoken to. My friends tried to set me up on dates, but none of them compared to my neighbor,_ Edward Cullen_. Just the name gives me goose bumps. I sigh and look at the time. Oh! Time for my daily Edward sighting! I hop up and throw on some shoes. I don't even have work today, but I don't care. I'll just turn back around and go home once he's on his way.

I open the door and see him locking up his apartment. He looks at me and runs his hands through his hair. He looks agitated. I wonder what's wrong. I hope it's not woman troubles. I frown. Thinking of him with another woman is enough to make me nauseous. He smiles timidly and runs his hands through his hair again. Neither of us has moved from the spots in front of our doors. He takes a breath like he wants to say something and then closes his mouth. He frowns and I furrow my brows in confusion. What on earth is going on? I decide to break the ice. I need to speak before I lose my nerve or throw up. Or both.

"Hi..."

"Um, hi, Bella"

_Bella_? He knows my name? How?

"How did you—"

"Uh, I gotta go. See ya."

He hurriedly walks away with his head down, grumbling to himself and raking his long, elegant fingers through his hair. He's out of sight, so I just go back into my apartment. What on earth was that about? He seemed so annoyed and nervous. I wonder what his problem is. All I wanted to do was walk behind him and behold the beautiful vision that was his butt. But he had to ruin it and act weird, and in my stupefied state, I had completely forgotten to look at his keister while he walked away. Well, there's one positive—we spoke. After three years, we finally spoke to each other. And he knew my name! So exciting! But how did he know it? Did he inquire about me as I did him? If he wanted to know my name, why didn't he just ask me? But then again, I could say the same about myself. I sit on my couch and turn on my Tivo'd marathon of _Family Feud_, the best game show out there.

I don't know how much time passed since I became consumed in the game show, but I notice it is now dark outside. I can't find it in myself to care. I have nowhere to be, so I continue to watch my awesome marathon.

Some of these families are SO stupid!

_John O'Hurley: "Alright now__,__ Marie, name an animal that every kid begs their parents for."_

_Marie the Contestant: "A hyena."_

"WHAAAT?" I practically scream. A hyena? A freakin' hyena? _Really_?

"How about a puppy, a cat, a freakin' goldfish! Idiot! Yeah, now you've struck out. Serves you right, dummy!"

All of a sudden there's a knock on my door. My eyebrows shoot to the top of my head. I'm not expecting anyone. I pause the TV (can't miss any of my awesome marathon) and walk to the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's uh... it's Edward. Your neighbor from across the hall."

Is it possible for a heart to actually beat out of a chest? Because I think that's about to happen to me. I think I saw it on an episode of_ Untold Stories of the E.R_. My hand flies to my chest to try and keep it in my body, where I'd like it to stay. I take deep breaths to calm myself down before I hyperventilate and pass out. Edward is at my door. _Edward is at my door_! Oh! Open the door!

I swing the door open with more force than I intend to use and almost topple to the floor when I forget to let go of the knob. I right myself and straighten out the front of my shirt before looking at him again. I'm sure I'm as red as a tomato which probably isn't very attractive.

"Hi," I breathe.

He smirks at me "Hi."

We stand there, looking at each other for at least thirty seconds before he interrupts my blatant ogling. _Rude_.

"Okay, this is gonna sound really damn cliché... but, can I borrow some sugar? I'm _attempting _to make a pie. I saw this recipe this guy Alton Brown made and it seems like something I could do. I've never baked and he broke it down so even _I _could understand. I wanted to bake something for my mom and I thought I'd surprise the hell outta her by making her a pie. And I didn't wanna go to the store, because I was in pie baking mode, and going to the store would break me out of that mode. And I can't have that because I don't wanna accidentally burn the pie. Gotta pay attention and do it right, ya know?"

He palms his forehead into his hand. "Oh, God. I'm rambling. Sorry, I didn't mean to talk your ear off, it's just—"

"Edward, it's fine. I promise." I smile at him. Baking for his mom? How sweet is that? And the mindless rambling was so adorable.

"Come on in, I'll get you some sugar. How much do you need?" I ask as I turn my back to him and walk to the kitchen, and I hear him say something under his breath but don't pay it much attention.

"_Family Feud_, huh?" he calls from the living room.

"Uh... yeah. I love that show. It's my favorite."

"Yeah, I heard you yelling at the TV before I knocked. Pretty entertaining." He chuckles. "Fast Money's my favorite round."

Could he be any more perfect? My heart soars.

"Me too!" I say a little too excitedly. I shake my head at my stupidity.

He never told me how much sugar he needed, so I just grab a drinking glass and fill it with sugar. I walk back out to the living room and am saddened when I realize that he's about to leave. I stand in front of him, nursing the glass in both of my hands, willing him to stay. I slightly lift my head to look into his eyes and am shocked to see he's already been staring at me. Do I have something on my face? He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, opens his mouth as if to say something and abruptly closes it again. He does this about fifteen times and looks like a fish out of water. I unsuccessfully try to stifle my giggle.

He raises a brow, silently questioning what I'm laughing at.

"It's just... your face." He looks confused so I explain. "You kept opening and closing your mouth like a fish. It was pretty funny." I laugh again.

He smiles at me. Ah, glorious. I beam at him. His smile falters a bit and he drops his gaze to the floor.

"Sooo... thanks... for the, ah, sugar. I mean. 'Cause you let me borrow some."

"Oh!" I hastily hand him the glass, forgetting I was holding it in my hands. "No problem. Any time. I mean, you know, any time you wanna borrow something, ya know? Sugar, ketchup, ground beef, tomatoes, cheese..."

He laughs. I blush. I'm making such a fool of myself. He reaches his hand toward me, but drops it awkwardly before it can reach me, then runs his hand through his hair.

"Thanks again for the sugar. It's a lot of sugar. Probably more than I'll need. For the pie. That I'm making. For my mom. To surprise her. So, yeah..."

"Yeah, well, you know..."

"Yeah..."

He runs his hand through his hair again and pulls it in aggravation.

"Bella... um, I—"

The ground starts shaking, rumbling violently. I look at Edward, eyes wide, shocked and scared. I lose my balance and Edward catches me and holds me close to his chest. More shaking and vibrating. Things are falling off of shelves and out of cabinets. We're being rocked back and forth by the movement of the earth.

"EARTHQUAKE!" Edward shouts.

Oh, my God! Earthquake! He grabs my arms and pulls me under the dining room table. Thank goodness Alice made me get this huge metal and wood thing. I hate the monstrosity, but am now _so _appreciative for Alice's adamant demands. The noise is deafening. The building is groaning, and the sound terrifies me. Will it collapse? We're lying next to each other and he's holding me, shielding me with his body. My face is in the crook of his neck and his arms are wrapped around the back of my head. I grab the front of his shirt and squeeze the fabric tightly in my fists, afraid that if even a centimeter is between us, I'll surely die. Irrational? Yes. But I'm about to die, so rationality has flown out the window.

There is loud cracking, sounds of plaster falling, glass shattering, the building groaning, the ground shaking.

My screams, sobs and tears are being absorbed by Edward's skin. His breathing is fast and erratic, which scares me even more. If he's scared, then surely we'll die. The table begins moving back and forth above us. We have to coordinate our bodies to keep from rolling around with it. Something big crashes on top of the table and I scream louder. We're _really _gonna die. There's an incredibly loud shrieking noise and piles of rubble, concrete and metal fall all around us. The building sways and I scream so loudly, my voice goes hoarse. I pull Edward impossibly closer. _I don't wanna die_.

Then it stops.

The only sounds are my sobbing and the distant sound of car alarms. We made it? Edward's grip on my head loosens slightly, but I hold him tighter. He can't let me go!

"No!" I scream. "Please. Please don't let go!" I cry into his shoulder.

"Never, Bella. I'm here." He rubs my hair and puts his chin on the top of my head. My fear hasn't subsided. The aftershock is sure to come soon. What if the building or my stupid, huge and gaudy table doesn't hold up?

I look around and see nothing but gray. Dust and debris cover everything. Nothing is recognizable. I look to the door and see a huge block of cement blocking the only exit. There's no way we'll be able to use it. We're on the ninth floor of the building, so jumping out of the window isn't an option. _We're trapped_. Just as I think of how we'll die of starvation, the ground shakes and grumbles. The building groans again, louder than ever. Oh, no, it's gonna collapse. I suddenly have the urge to tell Edward everything as I burrow my face in his chest, taking a greedy whiff of his scent. It's the last thing I'll ever smell and it's beautiful, it's Edward.

He grabs my face in his hands, trying to hold still around all of the shaking and commotion. I look at him and nothing else matters. I love him. His eyes are brimming with thousands of untold emotions as he looks into my eyes.

"Bella," he yells over the cacophony of sounds surrounding us. "I love you. God, I love you."

"Oh Edward... I love you too." He pushes his face to mine urgently and I grab his hair to pull him harder against my mouth. The searing kiss wrenches the air out of my lungs as we both try to portray our emotions through this one act of affection. The lights flicker off and I feel weightlessness beneath my body. A huge crash, deafeningly loud noises, _screams._

I realize that the building is collapsing. Down, down, down. And nothing matters because I love Edward and he loves me. My life flashes before my eyes. Charlie catching a twelve-pound bass, smiling proudly. Renee cooking a salmon _soufflé_ that Phil sneaks into the garbage disposal. Angela excitedly hopping up and down on her wedding day, a beautiful and glowing bride. Alice hugging me fiercely after her first fashion show. Emmett arm wrestling and purposely losing against Rose. Edward smiling at me. Edward laughing at some unknown joke. Edward holding me. Edward kissing me.

One last scream escapes my mouth before darkness consumes me.

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**A/N:**

**Bad and corntastic, right? *shudders***


	9. Bella the Sub: Part 3

**Bella the Sub Part 3**

**Pairing: Bella, Rose & Jasper**

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Bella's breathing became erratic as she lay back on the bench just as her master had instructed. Her gift was standing obediently across the room, eyes downcast, hands clasped tightly. Bella didn't know what was going to happen, her heart thudding in her chest as she thought of the possibilities.

Her master moved to the head of the bench and as he did so, Bella felt his torso brush against the crown of her head. His fingers gently stroked her cheek as he leaned forward, making her heart flutter in anticipation. His mouth was on her ear, lips slowly pressing against the skin.

"This gift is for you only. I won't lay a finger on her, baby."

Baby?

Butterflies immediately erupted in Bella's abdomen but she had little time to ponder those words as his fingers danced their way down her cheek, her throat, her breasts, lingering and caressing her peaks as she struggled to stay still. Pinching, tugging, flicking, skin flushing, breathing labored.

"Open your legs, Pet."

She obliged without a second thought. Never a second thought when it came to him. She'd do anything for her master.

"Yes." His voice was gravelly as he praised her, lowering his fingers to her bare slit. "Good girl. So good."

He always knew exactly where to touch, rub, circle. He knew her body better than she knew it, a fact that was solidified as she felt her body heat, preparing for release.

His hand stopped abruptly and Bella's eyes shot open as she fought to keep her mouth closed to keep from begging him to continue, to keep from pleading with him to let her come by his fingers and his fingers alone.

"Have I not trained you well enough? You come when I say you can."

Bella didn't answer as she lowered her eyes. No speaking unless given permission.

"Look at me."

She obeyed as she always did. A coy smirk pulled on the corners of his mouth and it confused her. He winked which made her brows furrow.

He tore his eyes away from hers looking to the gift that Bella had momentarily forgotten about. "Toy, I think you should teach my pet a lesson in obedience."

Her gift lifted her head and began walking toward Bella, her hair splayed, legs spread, eyes wide, clit throbbing. Soft hands opened her legs farther, manicured fingers softly dragging from knee to thigh as her pink tongue darted out to moisten her lips.

She paused and looked to Bella's master for instruction. His eyes roamed over his pet's body before stopping at her eyes, never averting them as he gave his command. "Use your tongue."


	10. Emmett's Fun Day

**Just a little fun ^_^**

**Pairing: Rose & Emmett**

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"Em, I'm home!"

My shoes are kicked off, my keys are placed by the door, my hair is taken down... and as I walk through the house, I notice that it's completely silent.

Where are the kids?

"Em?"

I reach the living room and he's sitting casually on the couch, seemingly out of breath. His clothes are wrinkled. He's covered in sweat.

"Emmett... what's going on?"

"Nothin', Rosie."

"Em, where are the kids?"

"Huh?"

"You heard me."

"Er, they're... in... bed."

"Mommy!"

Two pairs of little arms are wrapped around my legs. I hold my children tightly and kiss their heads, noticing that their bodies are streaked with various colors. Markers. Emmett is now trying to sneak out of the room.

"In bed, huh?"

"Babe, I don't know what happened—oh... crap."

Following his gaze, I immediately regret letting him watch the kids while I had a girl's night.

"Emmett, why is our dog covered in makeup and..._ barbecue sauce_?"

Ali decides to answer for him. "Daddy said we could do what we want so he could watch his shows."

Her little face is bright, full of happiness. A big smile graces her face after she unknowingly digs her daddy a fresh grave.

I smile back. "He did? How fun! Alrighty, you guys go up to your room and I'll be there in a minute."

As they scamper off, I notice that their feet are caked in mud.

"Emmett, what the hell? Your _shows_? What the fuck were you watching? Porn? Is that why you were sweaty?"

He's cradling the remote in his hands, eyes terrified as I stalk toward him. "Give me the remote, Emmett."

"Just... calm down—"

"_Now._" My tone is venomous and he knows I'm not to be fucked with right now.

The remote is in my hands and the TV is now on. I look at him with a raised brow. "Yo Gabba Gabba?"

"DJ Lance is the shit... and the music is fun." He shrugs and looks down, digging his toes into the carpet.

I smile.

This man... this big, ridiculous, childish man. My life would be so dull without him.

"Since you smiled, does that mean I'm off the hook?"

"Nice try. You've got three bodies to bathe."

He smacks my ass as I walk away.

Just another Friday.


End file.
